Anger is a normal emotional response for when we feel threatened, cannot do things we want, are unfairly treated, or feel that our wishes are not fulfilled. It can be helpful in maintaining boundaries for social relationships, to avoid getting hurt. Very little anger results in passivity, while excessive anger results in aggression.
Irritability becomes a problem when it is: recurrent, happening almost every day and lasting most of the day; triggered quickly with minor things; uncontrollable; or leads to aggression toward others or self-injury. Persistent irritability or excessive anger can also be a symptom of increased sadness and depression, or of other psychological or neurological conditions.
What can we do to help someone with a lot of anger?
- Teach the student to acknowledge and understand feelings of anger;
- Remove them from the place where a tantrum or anger outburst is occurring;
- Provide an alternative way for them to express their anger without involving aggression (e.g., breathing and relaxation exercises);
- Establish rules;
- Acknowledge positive behaviors;
- Keep rules and consequences consistent;
- Regularly meet with parents/caregivers to communicate about rules and consequences;
- Change the student’s seat in the classroom (e.g., to be separated from a classmate with whom the student has frequent disagreement, to be close to a teacher);
- Anticipate and mediate conflicts.
Which attitudes can get in the way?
- Use of physical punishment negatively affects a child’s self-esteem. In addition to being illegal in many countries (e.g., Brazil: Menino Bernardo Law 13.030 of 2014), physical punishment portrays the violent act as an accepted behavioral choice and can increase aggression in the affected child;
- Responding harshly and angrily. Children and adolescents often repeat what they see and experience. Thus, it is important to present yourself as a source of security and reassurance, and model calm conflict resolutions;
- Giving very long instructions. Instead, give short instructions firmly but calmly;
- Giving attention (positive or negative) when the student expressing anger.
Watch the video about irritability
These videos are in Portuguese. However, you can go to the Setting, click on Auto-translate, select English, and click on CC to turn on the subtitles.